Can we stop over romanticizing romantic relationships, please?
Two years ago, next month, I fell in love with this human... but trust, the shit hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows. If you had told us the amount of work that would have to be put into unfolding ourselves so that we could sustain this relationship. If you had told us the hours on hours on hours of conversations we would have to have. The tearful conversations, the angry ones, the sad ones, the passionate ones, the fearful ones, the petty ones, we would have to move thorough. If you had told us about the amount of trauma we would need to unpack together. The numerous times we would want to call it quits and the times both of us would pack our shit to leave. We probably would have sprinted in the opposite direction. We were so bright eyed and caught up in facades (of ourselves and the other), not knowing the price of true, authentic love is our egos.
If you had told me learning to love him would mean ACTUALLY taking the time to learn how to love myself. If you had told me he would change my view on men and love and romance and intimacy and sex...shit, damn near everything that I thought I knew for sure, I would not believe you. I was so sacred back then...to be honest I am really scared now. But now, at least, I know I’m afraid and why.
It is truly a gift to meet someone that doesn’t just make you feel butterflies in your stomach but someone that makes your heart expand, your mind overflow and your belief in the universe exponentially stronger. Someone who doesn’t try to fix you — cause they know only the universe can do that and trying is a futile self sacrifice with a high price — but rather gives you the space to fix yourself. Someone who you know loves you unconditionally but loves themselves enough to stay true to their own boundaries. Someone who is willing to stay when things get messy because they have more faith in you then sometimes you have in yourself. I look at him sometimes, see myself and I thank God for the blessing of this mirror...and this journey. But I promise, in the me.
We deeply over romanticize relationships. We have all these expectations of how love is supposed to look and feel. And Instagram don’t do us a bit of good in that regard. I still get caught up looking at #couplegoals and playing the comparison game. But I am recognizing how skewed we portray relationships. We see the gorgeous, intimate couples but we don’t display the raw, vulnerable truth that occurs behind closed doors. Don’t get me wrong, the shit is magical but the magic is earned not granted. It is only through the difficulty of growth that anything blooms. You know what they say about the diamond.
SN: Can relationships go through the terrible twos? Becasue ooooo baby! Let me know in the comments!